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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My wall wanted me!!!

So, my wall must want me or something. Seriously. I have had quite the interesting night. It began with coffee and a lot of it. Yummy. Really. Yummy. So I had my Starbucks coffee (we have no where else worth a crap here in town) and I was all wound up from it. So, I cleaned. Not me. Way out of character for Alley, but I was wired. I got my camera that committed suicide two weeks ago and put some batteries in and a new card in, it worked! Well, ok. I put it down. I tossed a book on to the bed and it landed on my Intimate Forplay Kit attachment and split it right down the seam. A book. On a padded bed. On top of the down comforter. That will be an update to my review for sure!

I tossed my bottle of JO Warming Lube on to the bed. It landed upside down between the wall and the foam padding. Apparently the fucking bottle was open (why I have no idea, but I can guess it had something to do with a four-year-old little girl who likes being slick and shiny). The whole fucking bottle poured onto the wall and my wall was all lubed up and ready to get it on. I wasn't all into it and I told the wall it would have to wait and talk to J and get permission first though.

Then the camera disappeared (no doubt at the hand of a four-year-old photographer). Well shit! How am I supposed to document my massacre of my new toy and the seduction attempt of my glistening wall? I looked, no luck, no camera. I came back, and the wall was still staring at me. I yelled at my wall because now I have to buy a new bottle of lube (and System JO isn't exactly $3.99 a bottle), and I can't get it at fucking Walmart because KY is just not my style.

Nice try wall...but I will not have sex with you, no matter how shiny and pretty you are.

**OH! And now I get to use the rest of my JO lube that I no longer lust for because it has annoying and irritating glycerin that made me hurt...mean lube**