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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The talking vulva...

So, yeah...have you seen the giant talking vulva from Babeland yet? I am SO. SERIOUS. Really, a giant talking vulva. I would like...I don't know...die? if my vulva talked to me and gave me advice.

Ok, so this one is a lot less threatening, and she doesn't bleed at random on my new clothes (TMI?? Get over it). You can ask her questions and she will answer them for you. You know, like why is the sky blue? Are there really aliens? Why the hell is Rudolph's nose red? Or, well you could ask about sex, toys, sex toys, lubricants, crazy kinky stuff (or rather stuff you think is kinky, but I find cute).

So, what are your questions for the Vulva? You know, since she's here and all...you may as well get a Q&A session. If she doesn't answer I will answer the questions on my blog for you...k? Yeah, I thought you might like that.

So I will open up the floor with my question to the Vulva...
What should I get my best friend for Christmas? She's married and wants to spice her love life up, but she needs to do it discreetly so no one sees what they are doing. She says she wants some toys to use with her man, but doesn't want an obvious vibrator. What is the best gift for her?

While the Vulva is thinking about my answer you need to head on over to Babeland and check out their easy to use Holiday Gift Guide!



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Thursday, December 2, 2010

I may alter it...in the name of all things pretty


The Beginner Ball Gag (made by Tantus) is so sweet. Really. It's all girly and cute, like a pacifier almost. So basically it pops right into the mouth (the bulbous part should fit completely), and the more narrow part of the gag will be what the wearer's lips will wrap around. This is awesome because, for me anyway, ball gags can give awful cramping in the jaws that can stay for quite a while after use.

My lips and jaw were able to close comfortably around the more narrow part of the gag, but because the base covered my mouth noise was muffled (duh...because that's the whole point). Well, because of the shape and length of the actual gag part I am totally unable to push this gag out of my mouth. J loves that because I can always push gags out with no problem...in fact, I usually do because my jaw is in such pain (BAD sub).

The gag is solid silicone, which is nice because it can be boiled and disinfected, unlike rubber gags. The straps are leather and are fully detachable (again, great for cleaning). They are held on the gag by two metal snaps...just loop through the holes and they snap around them. The main hold is a velcro piece that can be extended to about (without coming apart easily) 8 inches in diameter, and can go as small as about 5 inches in diameter (this isn't a science, so these are approximate, people). The velcro also lends to the ease of removing the gag quickly if needed...remember, you really shouldn't leave someone gagged alone, things can go very wrong.

The straps can stretch over time (as you wear them), so be aware of that. But, because of the design the wearer can simply hold the gag in easily if they slip down some.

The leather can be cleaned by just wiping it down quickly, so don't worry too much about that. The gag can (in addition to being boiled) be thrown in the dishwasher or cleaned with a mild soap and water. Storage is as simple as tossing it into a drawer, or in my case the bag with our cuffs and such.

Overall...I love this gag. I will even be getting a second one to alter. You know the video Christina Aguilera caught so much shit for? The one with the gag {I added a photo so you could see it}? Yeah...I want to do that to one of these. I think it's hot, and I want it! So...there you have it!

product picture
Mouth gag by Tantus
Material: Silicone / Leather
Safety:

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hard boiled eggs anyone?

When I opened my inbox to see a Couture Collection Bliss assigned to me only 3 minutes after stating I would willingly be Eden Fantasys' review bitch I was shocked. I mean shocked. This is a hot item people, seriously. I own a few items from the Couture Collection, and I love them...so this is a great addition to my collection.

The Bliss is an egg shaped vibe that is rechargeable. Oh, and it is remote controlled as well. So, do you see why these are flying off the shelves? I have the Amante as well, but this is so much nicer because I don't need three random sized batteries. I do need one odd sized battery (12V) for the remote, but that is no big deal really...you can buy them at Walmart or CVS or something like that. Just pick up a few...they should last you a while.

The Bliss is plastic, and therefore can be used with any type of lubricant, but it needs to be covered when sharing because you just never know. The cord is nylon (not a fan of that at all...I wish it was a solid silicone toy, but vibrations don't travel as well). Oh, and just because there is a retrieval cord does not make this safe for anal play!!! Just a quick warning. If it gets lost in your ass I will laugh...loudly. Then I will tweet it and post it to Facebook. You have been warned.

The egg (really...it looks like an egg) is 2.5 inches long and 1.5 inches thick. That may not seem big to you, but GOOD GODS IN HEAVEN ABOVE, that is massive if you ask me. My largest vaginal ball is 1 inch thick and it is too big to be comfortable in me...so wearing this out to dinner is a no go for me...aww. But, I can wear it around the house and such and give J the controller (that was such a bad idea). I would be in the kitchen and he would be across the apartment and he'd set it off. Nice, but it was a ton of fun to play with (note: apartment...about 20 foot distance). Ooh...and about the size...if you don't have strong muscles and are worried about it falling out, I wouldn't. It is large enough to stay in with little to no effort at all.

One true enjoyment for me was having it in and on while I was using a clitoral vibrator. This gave me vaginal stimulation while giving me something to orgasm around. It added more sensation to my solo time.

Ok...the run down:

The whole kit comes with:

  • The egg
  • A charging dock (shaped like a heart)
  • The remote
  • A battery for the remote
  • The plug for the charging dock
To use, just plug the dock in and place the egg in the dock. Once the little light on the egg is green, you're good to go.

How it works:

The remote is stupid proof. Really. There is a dedicated on/off switch and the other one just changes the settings. The egg has a small button that you hold for about 4 seconds (it will turn green) to turn it on, and another 4 to turn it off (it will go red). The settings just cycle through, and to turn it off just use the power button. There are 7 settings in all:
  • Low
  • Medium
  • High
  • Escalating from low to high repeatedly
  • Pulsing
  • Fast pulsations
  • 3 short pulses and a longer buzz
Batteries:

Ok, I am annoyed that we need a special battery for the remote...but whatever. The egg, however actually holds a decent charge. We used it for about 2.5 to 3 hours and it was still good to go (not all at once though). The initial charging took about 2 hours(ish), it was green after that so I have to assume it was fully charged. The instruction book gave no indication of how long to charge it the first go. I was mildly tweeked that the instruction book wasn't more thorough, but it really isn't a huge deal.

In actual use:

Well, I did like it...the thing is...
I found the vibrations to be kind of loud. J says they aren't as loud as I think, but to me they sound really loud, and I worry others will hear them. He said as long as there is some background noise they can't be heard, so I guess all is good there. Maybe I am just paranoid that people will wonder why I am buzzing from my vagina...I dunno. I am quirky like that. The vibrations are strong, but I have felt stronger ones (this may be due to the rechargeable feature). I don't mind it being the level it is because, any stronger would mean louder...that, dear readers, could would be bad.

Cleaning and care:

The Bliss is waterproof. No shit, right? Because if it wasn't I would really think twice before inserting it all the way. Since it's waterproof you can just run it under some warm water with a good toy cleaner and be done. Remember to get the cord clean as well, though. You can also wipe it down with alcohol to disinfect it if you want to. Just go the extra distance, you know?


Overall, I am pleased to own this vibrator, and I will continue to love the Couture Collection pieces. Cal Exotics has outdone themselves...well done!



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Travel Teaser

Cal Exotics Travel Teaser from Eden Fantasys





















product picture
Pocket rocket by California Exotic
Material: Plastic
Safety:
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:



The spikey little nodules that hurt me.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

2010 Holiday Wishlist


Meme instructions from Essin’ Em:

Step One
- Make a post to your blog, tumblr, facebook, myspace, what have you. The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want and that people can see the post.
- If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it’s your address or just an email address at which you can be contacted by potential wish-grantors, real or imaginary.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your post, so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
- Surf around your friends list/blogroll/RSS feeds (or friends friends, or just random places ) to see who has posted their list.
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true. Sometimes someone’s trash is another’s treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don’t want or a gift certificate you won’t use–or even know where you could get someone’s dream purebred Basset Hound for free–do it.

You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not–it’s your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just…wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you’ll have the joy of knowing you made someone’s holiday special.


Ok, so I will join in and make my list available for others to see. I am willing to pay shipping on items that need shipping...it's a give and take, ya' know? Also, I am willing to trade. If you have a toy swap account, take a gander at mine and see if there is anything you are willing to trade out for.


Wishlist:

1. Domain hosting for one year and possibly even blog design (I actually really like the one I have now though).

2. A custom corset.

3. POPPY TARTAN APPLIQUE GLAM by Coach

4. To have my hair dyed the way I want by a professional

5. My tattoos, I want two of them

6. $200 for Stampin' Up! supplies

7. This waist cincher (red or black) in a medium {got it in red}

8. As always anything off my wishlists.

9. Anyone who happens to know a set of amazing Drs who can keep me from ending up in the hospital again...let me know or send 'em my way.


Check out some other lists too:

The one and only Mistress Kay

Dangerous Lilly
Essin’ Em
Lucid Obsession
The Blogging Slave
Dusk in Chains
True Pleasures
Screaming Violet
Julietta


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Sunday, November 21, 2010

CONTEST: Win a pack of Penis Bandz


Alright, I am having a small contest and someone will win a pack of Penis Bandz.

Penis Bandz are 100% silicone bands (just like those silly bands your kids are all into right now) that are shaped like a penis. They are just awesome. I was sure they'd be all weird and awkward, but nope, they aren't. They can be worn on your wrist or in your hair or on your keys, where the hell ever you want to have them.

What could I possibly use these for? Simple! I have lots of engaged friends...this would be a fun gift for a bachelorette party or a fun prize at a lingerie party. I love these parties, so this item is right up my alley for that.

You can head on over to www.PenisBandz.com and check out the bands themselves. If you want to win a free set of Penis Bandz, just follow the directions:

You can win your own set of 12 bandz from me. The giveaway begins today, and ends December 3, 2010 at 10pm PST.

Ways to enter:

1. Leave me a comment here!!! (required for entry...once)
2. Follow me on Twitter (once)
3. Tweet about my contest (one entry per day...don't forget to put @JsCuriousAlley in there as well as #PenisBandzJCA in the tweet or it won't count...please comment with the link each time you tweet).
4. Write your own blog post and link it to mine (once)
5. Follow Penis Bandz on Twitter (once)
6. Follow my blog (once)

READY....SET....GO!!!!

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