Sometimes it can be too much

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Sometimes it can be too much

It's been a while since I have really written a post here. There are reasons for that, though. I had some drama I had to dismiss recently and it was harder than I expected. I ended up losing a friend over it all, not that I really care though. You see a so called friend of mine had an affair...that I can deal with, because you know...shit happens. What I could not deal with was her total inability to take responsibility for what she did. She just kept making excuses rather than saying, yup I did it, here is why, and it was wrong.

Let me begin here. I have a good friend who's great husband allows her to have a boyfriend on the side. Now, I don't know all the details in that relationship, and to be honest they don't really matter all that much. What matters is is the fact that she is honest about her lifestyle. In the other situation, that friend is not honest. She sneaks around, uses us as her excuse. That is the part I take issue with. I don't like that she repeatedly says it was an accident. Umm...so will it be an accident tomorrow? Most people learn from their mistakes, not her.

The part that really grates at me? She had the audacity to call me her best friend. All she does is lie and cheat and she calls me her best friend. I haven't heard an honest thing come out of her mouth in years. Excuse me if I don't think we are actually friends. So I basically told her I was choosing sides in a giant mess she created and that we were no longer friends to any remote extent. Do I feel bad? Not really. I mean, she lies and cheats and is not a good person, so in all I feel I have lost nothing.

In other news...

I was diagnosed with PCOS, clearly it is a rising issue in women. My concern is that I am all about having more kids...you know, like I want 6 or so...

Well, that is on hold for now because I am no longer fucking ovulating. Stupid ovaries. I was really upset about a week ago because of this. Actually, a few weeks ago I broke down and cried because my sister sent me her wedding photos and she's knocked up with damn twins and I can't even get one. AGGGHHH. Can you just hear me screaming into my pillow? Yes, I know I have kids...I want more. I feel like it is the only thing I do right sometimes. I never had issues getting pregnant before and now it is driving me nuts. What makes it worse is that my very best friend has PCOS and she has no kids at all. Plus, her 17 year old cousin just got pregnant. Said friend is almost 27. She is a wreck over it all. I can't even begin to imagine her pain. If I feel this bad because I can't have more, I can't begin to know how bad it feels to not be able to have one. To add insult t injury for her people keep giving helpful alternatives to her...I think she may kill someone. I want to slap a few people for her. It's been a long few weeks.

On the upside I will be moving to San Diego in the middle of May!!! Yay!!!